Lists are Good, or Mission: When You Wish Upon a Salad

So the effort to post more frequently continues. Food-wise, today was a pretty good day for me. I actually managed to eat lunch, which brings my grand total of meals eaten in one day up to 2. Believe me, it's an accomplishment. Normally I eat one meal at around 7 p.m., then eat the gastronomic equivalent of a small village around 3 a.m. Granted, when I'm in my own apartment (please, kind baby Jesus, may it happen soon), it'll be easier to do the three-meals-a-day thing. Until then, I make do with the Halal mom-and-pop place behind my building. Which isn't bad, seeing as there's no ham or salami in sight, and I did find something healthy there that doesn't taste like shit (shoutout to Boar's Head for making salsa-flavored turkey breast!). But woman cannot live on turkey alone, and I'm definitely looking for new inspiration without having to actually cook anything. Which is not to say that I can't cook (you think I got this size by looking at food?), but ya know, it's not my kitchen, I'm not trying to change anyone else's eating habits, blah, blah, blah.

The one idea I did end up gleaning from Ruby's Diary was to make a wish list. Conversely, this is one exercise I know I'm gonna hate doing, which is pretty much how I know that it needs to be done. This whole brutal-honesty, all-my-business, here's-my-deepest-secrets-for-all-the-world-to-see shit is for the birds. Sorry, but that sentiment falls right in line with the whole honesty thing. I know that this may be helping someone, I know that expunging my subconscious is necessary for those who'd like to get to know me, or for those who'd like to get to know me better. I can comprehend all of this on a cellular level. But that sure don't make this easier.

OK, deep breath...here goes.

I wish...

* I wish I didn't have to think about buying two bus tickets to travel one-way, just to spare a stranger the embarrassment of having to sit next to me.

* I wish I could buy shoes like regular people, and wear heels.

* I wish I didn't have to sit down so often because doing the most mundane stuff leaves me out of breath.

* I wish I could buy sneakers with shoelaces and not have to wish that someone else would tie them.

* I wish I could reach around my body without the accompanying pain in my side that knocks the wind out of me.

* I wish I were small enough to do a cartwheel again.

* I wish stairs weren't the enemy.

* I wish I could regain feeling in my hips again, my weight has pinched the nerves so deeply that I have localized paralysis.

* I wish I wasn't a bigger size (26-28) than some of the plus-size stores carry clothes in.

* I wish my friends wouldn't have to slow down when they walk, just so I can keep up with them.

* I wish someone could see the pain behind my smile, the pain I carry every single day that I'm trapped in this body.

OK...I think I've done all the wishing I can do for one day.

P.S. In regards to my laptop, or DietPepsiGate, as this issue will henceforth and evermore be known as, no news to report. I've gotta work tonight, and my weekend is shot, as I prepare for an event that I've been threatened with bodily harm about, should I choose not to attend. So Monday morning, I'm off to Best Buy. As an aside, in the city that never sleeps, why is the only Best Buy in a mile around so damn far away from me? I tell ya, there's just no justice...