Cymbalta Moments, or Mission: In the (Thick) of It.

OK, I'm back.

Sorry about that.

I'm not even sure how to explain that little outburst, but I'm pretty sure that if the one reading this is obese as well, I don't have to. The thing is, this is scary. Not spooky-scary. Abject-terror scary would fit the bill nicely here, and even that seems like an understatement.

The common misperception, dear reader, is that being "of a certain size" is a purely physical issue. It's not. It's mental, emotional, even spiritual. And because it's a visual malady, it will find a way to affix itself to your very persona. Being fat can (and does) become a very real aspect of your identity because, let's face it, you can't exactly avoid it. Not acknowledging it doesn't keep it from existing, so the mentality of "I'll talk about it before anyone else does" quickly surfaces. And so, if I become unfat (at least by my standards), who...am I? Will I still be me? Will I be less funny, less jovial, less congenial, less...everything?

This is the fear, people, and I know I'm not the only one out there who deals with this.

On another note, the New Year brought in a slew of changes besides my eating habits. I broke up with the guy I'd been seeing since September on New Year's Day (believe me, you would've too). I'm now rocking a short and sassy new 'do (temporary, but hell, MSAPF is about the only thing I can commit to at this point), and my outlook is overall good. I've been drinking more water than a freakin' manatee, and the movement (because calling it 'exercise' will equal me not doing it) aspect of the Mission will commence as soon as it stops feeling like Nome, Alaska in Brooklyn. Once I have my own place (we're praying for February) I can buy fitness DVD's, and that should carry me through the winter, but until then, it's my sneakers and the pavement. I do have a gameplan I'm working on for that, which I'll let you know once I implement it.

So, that's about it for now. HUGE shoutout to S.T. for spreading the word about MSAPF, I appreciate it dearly. And if you're on this ride with me, feel free to Comment with your questions/comments/hate mail/death threats/healthy recipes!!

Not necessarily in that order.